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1 Corinthians 7:8-9-But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
When Paul wrote these words, he said that he wished the “unmarried” and “widows” were as he was. From those words, it seems that (when Paul wrote 1 Corinthians) he was then “unmarried” or “widowed.” However, there are lots of questions about this subject that over the last few months especially I have been receiving a lot of questions over. Was Paul ever married? If so, was he widowed? Or, could he possibly have been divorced?
Let’s study.
First, it is possible that Paul was married at one time. This is based mainly upon the belief that he was (before becoming a Christian) a member of the Sanhedrin (the Jewish ruling body), and in order to be a member of such, he had to be married. Barclay has this for us:
“We may be fairly certain that at some time Paul had been married. (1) We may be certain of that on general grounds. He was a Rabbi, and it was his own claim that he had failed in none of the duties which Jewish law and tradition laid down. Now, orthodox Jewish belief laid down the obligation of marriage. If a man did not marry and have children, he was said to have ‘slain his posterity’, ‘to have lessened the image of God in the world’. It was said that seven categories of people were excommunicated from heaven, and the list began: ‘A Jew who has no wife; or who has a wife but no children’. God had said: ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ and, therefore, not to marry and not to have children was to be guilty of breaking a positive commandment of God. The age for marriage was considered to be 18; and therefore it is highly unlikely that so devout and orthodox a Jew as Paul once was would have remained unmarried. (2) On particular grounds, there is also evidence that Paul was married. He must have been a member of the Sanhedrin, for he says that he gave his vote against the Christians (Acts 26: 10). It was a regulation that members of the Sanhedrin must be married men, because it was held that married men were more merciful.” (William Barclay, The Letters to the Corinthians (The New Daily Study Bible), 71-72 (Kindle Edition): Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press)
It is possible then-based on Jewish culture of his time, and his possible relationship with the Sanhedrin- that Paul was once married.
Second, assuming Paul was married before becoming a Christian, this raises the question of whether he was a widower, or if he had been divorced. Paul addresses the “unmarried,” the “widows,” and the “virgins” in 1 Corinthians 7. The “virgins” refers to those who had never been married, while the “widows”’refer to those whose spouse had died. That left the phrase “the unmarried.”
“Verse 34 uses it more definitively: “the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin.” We assume Paul has two distinct groups in mind: whoever the unmarried are, they are not virgins. Verse 8 speaks to “the unmarried and to widows,” so we can conclude that the unmarried are not widows. The clearest insight comes in the use of the term in verses 10 and 11: “the wife should not leave [divorce] her husband (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried….).” The term unmarried indicates those who were previously married, but are not widows; people who are now single, but are not virgins. The unmarried woman, therefore, is a divorced woman.” (John MacArthur, 1 Corinthians MacArthur New Testament Commentary, 3587-3597 (Kindle Edition): Chicago, IL: Moody Press)
While many believe that Paul was a widower, others believe the evidence favors his having been divorced after becoming a Christian.
For example, Barclay goes on to say:
“It may be that Paul’s wife died; it is even more likely that she left him and broke up the home when he became a Christian, so that he did indeed literally give up all things for the sake of Christ.” (The New Daily Study Bible), 71-72 (Kindle Edition): Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press)
Finally, let it also be considered that it is possible that Paul married (or remarried) before his death. This has been inferred (by some) based upon his words to the Philippians:
Philippians 4:3-And I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life.
Notice the phrase “true companion.” It was a word that the Greek scholar Joseph Henry Thayer described as including “those united by the bond of marriage, relationship, office, labour, study, business, or the like.” Some of the early church fathers (such as Clement Of Alexandria) maintained that this phrase refers to Paul’s wife. Others have said that it is simply a reference to a fellow Christian at Philippi.
I don’t know which of these interpretations is correct, but it is certainly interesting to consider!
Now, what to make of all this?
First, whether we are single, married, divorced, remarried, or a widow/widower, there is room in God’s kingdom for us. The same is also true of those who cannot produce children. Long ago, the Prophet declared:
Isaiah 56:3 (CEV)-Foreigners who worship me must not say, “The LORD won’t let us be part of his people.” Men who are unable to become fathers must no longer say, “We are dried-up trees.”
As a follower of Jesus, do your best to serve Him in whatever circumstance you find yourself.
Second, this discussion reminds us about the need to consider context in our studies of God’s Word, and how therefore to responsibly apply that Word in our day and age.
When he wrote to the Corinthians, Paul focused a great deal on local events and circumstances that they were facing. He speaks of “the present distress” (1 Corinthians 7:26), pagan temples and houses of worship (1 Corinthians 8-10), and he often used language that reflected the culture of that day and age (cf. the cultural language of “shame” and “disgrace” riddled all throughout 1 Corinthians 11:5-16). As such, we have to be careful that we do not make ironclad rules from passages of Scripture whose context suggests that they are dealing with local events and situations.
Today, let’s go forth as God’s people, repenting of sin and fully dedicating ourselves to follow Jesus. May we lead some lost soul to Him, and be renewed in the knowledge that the Lord can and will work through us as we follow Him!
Lord Jesus, we thank You for Your Word that gives us light and guidance. Lead us today and always. In Your Name we pray, Amen.